"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."
"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"
"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."
"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse'."
"Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest."
"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
"If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way."
"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"
"I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar."
"He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor."
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